My Latest Collection of Funny SMS / Jokes

Funny SMS

Pathan 2 doctor: Mujhey 1 problem hay
DR:Kia?

Pathan: Bat karty waqt admi dikhai nahin deta
Dr: Aisa kub hota hay?

Pathan: Phone kartay waqt.
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Maths Teacher Was Teaching Mathematical Conversions

Teacher: If 1000 Kgs = Ton. Then

For 3000 Kgs =How Much?

Santa:
Ton! Ton! Ton!
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Man sees Sardar-G standing in d middle of a huge field of grass & notices,

He is just standing dere, doing nothing, looking @ nothing

Man asks: Sardar-G What r U doing?

Sardar-G: I’m trying 2 win a noble prize

Man: How?

Sardar-G: Well I heard they give d noble prize 2 ppl who r outstanding in their field.
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Funny SMS Forum
Teacher: How Do You Differentiate "WIFE" & "MOTHER"

SARDAR:
Before Marriage We Sleep With "MOTHER"

&

After Marriage
We Sleep With Our "WIFE"
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Pyar krne wale log UFoNE se bat krte ha
Knjus Z0nG se
Amer Jazz se
Khbsurt WARID se
Ziddi TELENOR se
Lekin zaheen log kbhi bat nai krte
Wo mri trha
SMS
karte hain.
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Kiyon jaagte ho? Kia sochte ho?
Kuch humse kaho, Tanha na raho,

Socha na karo.
Ab raat ki ankhen bheegh chaleen aur CHAND b ha chup jane ko.
Kuch dair mein shabnam aye gi pholon ki piyaas bujhane ko.
Shadaab shagoofon ki soorat khuwabon k nagar mein kho jao
Ab,,,,so jao
Ab,,,,so jao...
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Sardar saw a very high Airtel Tower
& Red Light glowing on the top:

Seeing this he said: India is developing fast,
See there are traffic signals for Aeroplane in the air.
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Sardar: Yaar mujhe 1 Hathora
or keel chahiye computer k lye.

Sales man: Magar computer me inka kia kam?
Sardar:Oye yar mujhe computer mein windows lagani hai.
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Ek Sardar:
Oye Badmashaa meri paen da dupatta wapis kar de.

Badmash: Chal Oye Chal Tu ki karen ga.

Sardar: Peeko karani se.

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Man:Sardar jee aap ko garmi lagti hai to kia karte ho?
Sardar:AC k pas ja k beth jata hon

Man:Agar phir bhi garmi lagay to?
Sardar:To A/C on kar laita hon :p
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1 Sardar Police Station K Bahar Se
Guzra Aur Poster Pe Parha

"Wanted For RAPE & MURDER .."

Sardar Ne Andar Ja Ker Kaha:
"I Want To Apply For This Job"
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Teacher: Story Sunao.

Sardar:1 din hum un k ghar gaye to woh soye howay thay
1 din wo hamare ghar aye to hum soye howa thay.

Moral: Jesa karo gay, waisa bharo gay
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Doctor: Bachey ko paani
dene se pehle boil ker lena chahiye.




Sardar: Lekin Janab, Boil karne se bacha marr tou nahi jaye ga.
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Train me 1 Machchar Chinese ka sir per betha,
Woh usko pakar kar kha gaya!

Phir 1 Machchar Memon k sir par betha,
Usne pakar kar Chinese se pucha:




Khareeday Ga?
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Hum khud pe "GHAROOR" nhi karty.

Kisi ko dosti k liye "MAJBOOR" nhi karty.

Bus apny dil may basa lety hain.

AUR PHIR


Marty dam tak "DOOR" nhi karty!
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Ishq Ka Jis Ko Bhi Khuwab Aajata Hai...
Waqt Samjho Kharab Aajata Hai...

Mehboob Aaye Ya Na Aaye Janaab...
Taaray Gin Gin K Hisaab Aajata Hai...!
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Agr basanti ki mausi thakur ko rakhi bandhy to Veeru & thakur ka kia rishta hua?
.
.
.
.
.
Apna kaam karo Koi rishta nahi banta, Thakur k hath hi nhi thy.

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Aik larki buhat piyasi thi achanak usay ALA-DIN ka CHIRAGH mila.

Usne usay ragra aur JIN se kaha: Meri piyas bhujao

JIN:
PEPSI wali

Ya
IMRAN HASHMI wali?
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Pathan ki girlfriend ne usko message kya:

"I Miss U"



Bohat dair sochny k baad Pathan ne jawab dya:

"I Student U"
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Sardar writes 2 Bill Gates abt PC & Windows problems:

1. My child learnd MS WORD now he wants MS SENTENCE.

2. I find only
RE-CYCLE BIN but no
RE-MOTORCYCLE BIN

3. I see MS OFFICE but i want to use this softwre @ home so i need MS HOME.

4. Finally, how is dat ur name is GATES but u r selling WINDOWS.

Urdu Funny SMS and Jokes

Urdu Funny SMS

Sms karenge hum ek duje ko bari bari,
Hame lagti hai ye rasam badi pyari,
Ye sms milte hi 1 sms bhej dena,
Kyuki hame bilkul pasand nahi Udhari
_________________
exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya
KUCH TO HUA HAI KUCH HO GAYA HAI,
exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya
SAB KUCH ALAG HAI SAB KUCH NAYA HAI.
_________________


Hotho se jo choo liya,
Ehsaas Aab tak hai,
Aankhe Nam hai, Aur sanso mein Aag aab tak hain...
Aur kyo na ho... Khayi Bhi to 'HARI Mirchi...'-hai...
_________________
Is dil mein yaadon ke mele hain,
tum bin bahut akele hain,
sab kuch chodke tume SMS kar rele hain,
dekho hum kitne wele
_________________
Nazar tumhari, Nazar hamari,
Nazar ne dil ki nazar utari,
Nazar ne dekha nazar ko aise,
ki nazar dosti ko lage na hamari.
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R=Rehmat
A=Aitkaf
M=Madad
Z=Zakat
A=Aman
N=Nazaz
Mubarak to all my momin Musalman...
may "ALLAH" fulfil ur all wish iz Ramzan & do pray all time urz
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Boy: O Bewafa tune Shadi Q ki?
Mera Dil jal k Raakh ho gaya...
Girl: Fikr na kar tumhari Raakh bekar na jayegi...
Yahan bhej do Bartan dhone k kaam aayegi.
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Hanjuaan Da Vapaar Karan Di Aadat Hai,
Pathraan Naal Pyaar Karan Di Aadat Hai,
Jhootha Hi Wada Kar Le Sohneya,
Saanu Ta Aetbaar Karan Di Aadat Hai...
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uttho! ye koi sone ka waqt hai.,
jab dekho sote rehte ho.,
saari umar so so ke bitani hai kya?,
ab mujhe reply mat karna., im sleeping.
_________________
tum hasate bahut ho,
man ko bhate bahut ho
ji chahata hai le jao tumhe dinner par
kambakht tum khate bahut ho
_________________
School Mein Ishq Ka Naya Mahool Tyar Ho Gaya,
Class Ki Teacher Ko Papu Se Pyar Ho Gaya,
Iss Baat Se Sari Class Ka Dil Udas Ho Gaya,
Sari Class Fail, Aur..... Papu Pass Ho Gaya
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khuda apko khush rakhe....!
khuda apko slamat rakhe...!
khuda apki umar lambi kre...!
khuda apko naukry de....!
khuda apko chokri de....!
seekh lia na,,,
chal ab utha ktora or shoroo ho ja....
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on ur single smile thousands of people die
so keep smiling and reduce the population of Pakistan
but don't smile in front of mirror
warna lene k dene par jain ge FPRIVATE "TYPE=PICT;ALT=Wink"

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Jalebi Ko Female Dish Kyun Kaha Jata Hai?
.
.
.
.
.
.
Kyun K Ye Kabhi Seedhi Nahi Ho Sakti. . . .
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Memon apne Bachy Ko mar rha tha,
Us K Dost ne pocha, q mar rahy ho?

Memon: yar ye toilet jana chata he.
Dost:to Kya hoa, jane do.

Memon:Nai yar,isy phr Bhook lag jye gi.
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Ek bacha paida hote he Nurse se bola mobile hy?


Nusre: Hai lekin kya krna hai?


Bacha: Khuch nai bs girl friend ko sms krna hy
k khariat se pohanch gya hon.
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Mareez: Dr sahab mujhay door ka nazar nahi aata.
Doctor: Aasman per dekho wo kia hy?

Mareez: Chand.
Doctor: Aby is say dhoor kia Farishtay dekhay ga?
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Har shaam charaghon se saja rakhi hai,
Shart humne hawaon se laga rakhi hai,

Na jane kis taraf se tum aajao,
Is liye har Taraf MORTEIN COiL jala rakhi hai.