New Collection of SMS 2009

Teacher: Aapko Shahrukh Khan ki Movie Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi se kya Lesson mila?


Student: Kabhi umeed mat haaro. Kyon k


Shadi Shada Larki bhi Phans sakti hai.
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Plz ye msg sb ko frwd kr dein
Ek bechara B.A pas 22 saal ka larka,
Jis ke shadi nahe hoe
Blood B+ hai
Usey ek Larki ka number chahye.

Plz ignore mat krna
Warna wo kunwara mar jay ga.
Plz contact 03008526355
Number change kr k frwd krna beghairti hy.
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Pappu Jahaz main khara hua aur Zor se chillaya "HI JACK"...

Sab ronay lagy.

Or Pareshan ho gaye.

Kuch dair bad Jack uth kar bola: "HI PAPPU." :-)
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Teacher: Dunya main kitne BAR-E-AZAM hy?

Bubbli: G 4 hain.

Teacher: Kon se?

Bubbli:
Quaid-e-Azam
Mughal-e-Azam
Sekandar-e-Azam
Aur
Mera chacha
Malik Azam.
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Chalo sms kheltay hain,
Pehle aap sms kero,
Phir Aap sms kero,
Phir se aap sms kero,
1 bar phir Aap kero,
Last bar bhi ap hi sms kero.
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Major Rohail ko us ki FAMILY ne bohat mara:
Log apne DAD k nam pr School, Hospital ya Trust banate hai
Major Rohail ne apne DAD k naam per

PUBLIC LATREEN banwa de.
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E reesent studeez haz shoon dat peepal hoo aar wary Samaart end gud lukeeng maik manee spilingz meestakes...!

Vaat eez yorr opeenion abaat et ???
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Zardari ek Dukan se "ULLU" kharedne gaya.

3 Din
18 Ghante
32 Minutes
Aur
15 second
ki behas k bad bila akhir.

ULLU zardari k sath jane par razamand ho gya.
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Kya waqai Aapko Beemari hai...????

.


.


.

Poora msg parhny ki...?
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Sardar's kuri: Abba kal apne ghar se ek Banda kam ho jae ga.

Next day wo larki bhag gai.


Sardar: Kuri ne Kaam to acha nhi kya.. Per thi wo najoomi.

My Latest Collection of Funny SMS / Jokes

Funny SMS

Pathan 2 doctor: Mujhey 1 problem hay
DR:Kia?

Pathan: Bat karty waqt admi dikhai nahin deta
Dr: Aisa kub hota hay?

Pathan: Phone kartay waqt.
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Maths Teacher Was Teaching Mathematical Conversions

Teacher: If 1000 Kgs = Ton. Then

For 3000 Kgs =How Much?

Santa:
Ton! Ton! Ton!
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Man sees Sardar-G standing in d middle of a huge field of grass & notices,

He is just standing dere, doing nothing, looking @ nothing

Man asks: Sardar-G What r U doing?

Sardar-G: I’m trying 2 win a noble prize

Man: How?

Sardar-G: Well I heard they give d noble prize 2 ppl who r outstanding in their field.
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Funny SMS Forum
Teacher: How Do You Differentiate "WIFE" & "MOTHER"

SARDAR:
Before Marriage We Sleep With "MOTHER"

&

After Marriage
We Sleep With Our "WIFE"
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Pyar krne wale log UFoNE se bat krte ha
Knjus Z0nG se
Amer Jazz se
Khbsurt WARID se
Ziddi TELENOR se
Lekin zaheen log kbhi bat nai krte
Wo mri trha
SMS
karte hain.
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Kiyon jaagte ho? Kia sochte ho?
Kuch humse kaho, Tanha na raho,

Socha na karo.
Ab raat ki ankhen bheegh chaleen aur CHAND b ha chup jane ko.
Kuch dair mein shabnam aye gi pholon ki piyaas bujhane ko.
Shadaab shagoofon ki soorat khuwabon k nagar mein kho jao
Ab,,,,so jao
Ab,,,,so jao...
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Sardar saw a very high Airtel Tower
& Red Light glowing on the top:

Seeing this he said: India is developing fast,
See there are traffic signals for Aeroplane in the air.
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Sardar: Yaar mujhe 1 Hathora
or keel chahiye computer k lye.

Sales man: Magar computer me inka kia kam?
Sardar:Oye yar mujhe computer mein windows lagani hai.
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Ek Sardar:
Oye Badmashaa meri paen da dupatta wapis kar de.

Badmash: Chal Oye Chal Tu ki karen ga.

Sardar: Peeko karani se.

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Man:Sardar jee aap ko garmi lagti hai to kia karte ho?
Sardar:AC k pas ja k beth jata hon

Man:Agar phir bhi garmi lagay to?
Sardar:To A/C on kar laita hon :p
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1 Sardar Police Station K Bahar Se
Guzra Aur Poster Pe Parha

"Wanted For RAPE & MURDER .."

Sardar Ne Andar Ja Ker Kaha:
"I Want To Apply For This Job"
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Teacher: Story Sunao.

Sardar:1 din hum un k ghar gaye to woh soye howay thay
1 din wo hamare ghar aye to hum soye howa thay.

Moral: Jesa karo gay, waisa bharo gay
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Doctor: Bachey ko paani
dene se pehle boil ker lena chahiye.




Sardar: Lekin Janab, Boil karne se bacha marr tou nahi jaye ga.
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Train me 1 Machchar Chinese ka sir per betha,
Woh usko pakar kar kha gaya!

Phir 1 Machchar Memon k sir par betha,
Usne pakar kar Chinese se pucha:




Khareeday Ga?
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Hum khud pe "GHAROOR" nhi karty.

Kisi ko dosti k liye "MAJBOOR" nhi karty.

Bus apny dil may basa lety hain.

AUR PHIR


Marty dam tak "DOOR" nhi karty!
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Ishq Ka Jis Ko Bhi Khuwab Aajata Hai...
Waqt Samjho Kharab Aajata Hai...

Mehboob Aaye Ya Na Aaye Janaab...
Taaray Gin Gin K Hisaab Aajata Hai...!
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Agr basanti ki mausi thakur ko rakhi bandhy to Veeru & thakur ka kia rishta hua?
.
.
.
.
.
Apna kaam karo Koi rishta nahi banta, Thakur k hath hi nhi thy.

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Aik larki buhat piyasi thi achanak usay ALA-DIN ka CHIRAGH mila.

Usne usay ragra aur JIN se kaha: Meri piyas bhujao

JIN:
PEPSI wali

Ya
IMRAN HASHMI wali?
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Pathan ki girlfriend ne usko message kya:

"I Miss U"



Bohat dair sochny k baad Pathan ne jawab dya:

"I Student U"
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Sardar writes 2 Bill Gates abt PC & Windows problems:

1. My child learnd MS WORD now he wants MS SENTENCE.

2. I find only
RE-CYCLE BIN but no
RE-MOTORCYCLE BIN

3. I see MS OFFICE but i want to use this softwre @ home so i need MS HOME.

4. Finally, how is dat ur name is GATES but u r selling WINDOWS.

Best Funny SMS in Urdu, Hindi and English

Chori chori ye ana jana chor do....
chupky chupky u nazr milana chor do..
kisi din bohat pito ge unse tum...
yeh masjidon se jotey churana chor do...

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Boy: Tum gaana bahut achcha aato ho.
Gal: Nahin, mein to sirf bathroom singer hoon.
Boy: To bulaao na kabhi, mehfil jamaate hain.
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Girls Psychology - Fraud with Innocent Boys; Fun with Handsome Boys; Friendship with Charming Boys; Contacts with Intelligent Boys; Flirt with Freaky Boys; Love with Faithful Boys & in the end Marriage with the Rich Boy
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In a Japanese house a baby was born. It had tiny eyes, nose, ears and mouth; so they named him Ingwingwong. Soon a second baby was born. It also had tiny ears, eyes, nose and mouth. They named him Chingwingwong. Then the third was born. It had BIG ears, eyes, nose and mouth. The parents thought for long and at last named him Somethingwrong
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Teri aankain jhuki jhuki

tera chehra khila khila

jab tere chehre per haath ghumaya

to aadha kilo fair & lovely mila

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Vo sochte honge usko aksar,

jo hamein unke salaam de jaati hai,

vo kya jaane unhein choone waali hawa bhi,

hamein unke saare paigaam de jaai hai!

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Someday u may lose ur hair.

u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind.

But 1 thing u will never loose is ur good looks.

coz u cant lose wot u don't have!

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You look so fine!I want to...

break your heart and give you mine

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Be someone with a big broad smile,
try 2 be happy all the day while...
When things go wrong dont get blue...
Just smile n say "_____" where r u?

-----------------

l

Me

My Self

Yes Me

l

Really

Truly

Unstopably

Unmistakenly

R
E
A
LLY

Faithfully

have

2 say

that

today is sUNDAY!
Enjoy!

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I like seeing u,
I like hearing u,
I like 2 spend my time with u.

But U r always surrounded by others,
as u r the main attraction of the...
"ZOO"

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In friendship,
words can go unspoken,
yet still be understood.
That's why I am sure that though
I don't say it often, you know how much
i value you.

Take care ,

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Do U need a FACELIFT?
ThR's 1 thT's FREE, always handy,
makes u LUK younger & has no undesirable side effects.

English Funny SMS

A deep friend is like rainbow, when the perfect amount of happiness and tears r mixed, the result is a colorful bridge

between hearts.

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FRIENDSHIP isn't how U forGet but how U forGive, Not how U liSten but how U UnderStand, Not what U see but how U feel, and

not how U Let Go but how U hold oN!!!
0
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KeEping a FRIEND is As Difficult AS losing one. U sacrifice A lot To keep them. I may not have sacrificed enuf u... but in my

HEART I swear I'm keeping U..

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As long as we have memories, yesterday remains; as long as we have hope, tomorrow awaits. As long as we have Friendship, each

day is never a waste.

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Its not an achievement to make 000's friends in a year, but an achievement is when you make a friend for 000's years.

To live a life i need heartbeat, have heartbeat i need a heart, have heart i need happiness, to have happiness i need a

friend, and a friend i need U.ALWAYS
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Moon said to me, if ur friend is not messaging u why dont you leave ur friend.I looked at moon and said does ur sky ever

leave u when u dont shine.
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Zindagi mein hamesha naye dost milenge, kahi zyada to kahin kum milenge. Aitbaar zara soch kar karna, mumkin nahi tumhe har

jagah HUM milenge.
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Sweetness can be defined without honey.
Fragnance can be defined without Rose.
But, friendship can't be defined without YOU.
0
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Friend is one, who (Finds you in a (Rush of people, (Inspires you to do something in life, catch your (Emotions and (Never

leaves you till (Death.
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Dard jitna saha jaye utna hi sehna, Kisi ke dil ko jo lag jaye vo baat na kehna, Milte hain hamare jaise dost bahut kam,

Isline humse 'Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna'
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As I saw ants crawl up the wall, I noticed that no matter how busy they are, they still stop and communicate with each other.

I hope we can be like them.
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Friendship is not a big fire which burns all day. Its a small lamp, that burns till the last day of life.
0
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Medicines and friendships cure our problems. The only difference is that friendships don't have an expiry date.
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Friendship never speaks volumes, it never demands proof, it never has a happy ending too simply coz it doesn't end as long as

friends r true, just like U!


If ur friendship be money, I'll be richest man. If ur friendship be pounds, I'll be heaviest man. If ur friendship be luv,

I'll be luckiest man. But ur friendship is trust & I'm the happiest man
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Walk with me when ur hearts needs company, take my hand when u feel all alone, turn to me when u need some to lean on, coz

I'm a friend u can always depend on
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Every morning when I open my eyes I pray to God that everyone should have a friend like u.Why should only I suffer!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Heart beat are countless, spirits are ageless, dreams r endless, memories are timeless and a friend like u is Useless. Oops!

Sorry Yaar, Priceless
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Dosti insaan ki zaroorat hai, dilon pe dosti ki hukamat hai aap k pyar ki wajah se zinda hain warna khuda ko bhi hamari

zarorat hai..
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FEW RELATIONS IN EARTH NEVER DIE..
Take first letter from each word of the above said statement & then u will get that unique word...
FRIEND :=
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Hamaare to daaman mein kaanto ke siva kuch nahin. Aap to phoolon ke kharid-daar nazar aate hain. Jahan mein kitne dost mile

hume par sabse ache aap nazar aate hain..

Funny SMS

I cant find reason y GOD made u close 2 me,

but thats not question 2 be asked.

May be question is :

How did HE know I needed a FRIEND lik U.?

_________________

yakin har rishte ki buniyaad hota hain ,

tut jaaye agar to judna mushkil hota hain ,

kehna aasan hain humain yakin nahi hain tumpe,

lekin dard is cheez ka be-panah hota hain.

_________________

Baithe tere khayalo main,

kore kagaj pe likh dala tera naam,

tasvir bhi utaar dali aur likha ye paigam:

Zinda ya Murda,pakadne wale ko 500 ka inaam!!

_________________

When The World Is Spinning Around You,
And Ur Heart Is Beating Fast,
You Think Is It Love?
No Stupid You Have Got High Bp...

_________________

DREAMS
makes all things possible
HOPES
makes all things work
LOVE
makes all things beautiful
SMILE
makes all above possible

So always smile

_________________

Apni Surat ka kabhi to didaar de
tadap raha hu ab aur na intzaar de
Apni awaaz nahi sunani to mat suna
Kam se kam 1 Missed call hee maar de
_________________

Kiss is not like Nokia...Connecting People
Kiss is not like Nike..Just Do It.
Kiss is not like Pepsi..Yeh Dil Maange More
But Kiss is like Pan Parag..Ek Se Mera Kya Hoga...
_________________

TUSI bade hi gr8 ho,
RASGULLE ki pl8 ho,
PEPSI ka cr8 ho,
ANDE ka oml8 ho,
SMS KARNE ME bade le8 ho,
JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho,
KHER jo bhi ho mere fevr8 ho...!